the greenest grass around

No, I am not suggesting you run in a marathon. I am referring to something we as women and as mothers, do all the time. We don’t get IN the photos. I would assume that some of you do the same thing. If not, maybe it is just me. But since Jordan’s accident, we have looked at so many photos. I do have a lot of photos with Jordan, don’t get me wrong, but it’s my thoughts while looking at the photos that started making me think…

So why do we or I do this? There are so many reasons why.

“We are busy.”

“We are running around making sure everything is going smoothly.”

“We don’t like the way we look.”

“We are judgemental of ourselves.”

The bottom line… we don’t take our own photos. Yes, in the days of selfies, we do take photos but we also have to make sure they are at the right angle, have a filter, and edit them before we post. We are our own worst critics.

That’s not real life.

That is what we post to Instagram with hundreds of other edited photos. These edited photos are usually the very reason we don’t like actual “real-life” photos. They aren’t perfect. They aren’t messy, they are what we long for and are a reminder of what we “think” is missing.

I am usually the one taking the photos. I have thousands of photos on my phone, and I am ALWAYS taking pictures. But I am rarely in the photos. So let’s start with this one above. This is the last photo Jordan and I took. It was the night before the accident, Father’s Day. We went to see my inlaws for Father’s Day, on June 19. The next day, Monday, June 20 was my husband’s and oldest son’s birthday. Since the boys had been getting older, we tried to do more memorable things for birthdays and not big parties. This year we were taking our boys and 5 friends of Jaden’s canoeing. Little did I know that in less than 24 hours my life would be in pieces.

Now to the actual issue of taking the photos. I HATED this photo. My sister-in-law loves to take candid shots and we all know that candid shots do not always turn out well. I remember that night she sent me this photo and I took one look at it, Delete. I “saw” the picture, don’t get me wrong. But instantly I saw how much I didn’t like the way I looked in the photo and dismissed it.

It wasn’t until December of that year, she posted photos of her cat on social media and included this photo. I was scrolling through my feed at a stoplight, yes I know that is not smart or legal and saw this photo. All of my emotions rushed back. Not because Jordan was in the photo, not even because it was the last photo we took, but because I had been so selfish and only thought of myself when I looked at the photo initially and deleted it. There is so much more to a photo than how we look.

Photos help us remember and relive the moment.

I see Jordan’s tan skin and think about how hot it was in June. How much time we spent at the pool that year. The little freckles he was starting to get on his nose because of the sun. I remember how much he loved animals. How he came and sat down with me because I was petting the kitten. I see the shirt and smile because he had just started wearing button-down summer shirts that summer (I assume because of Outter Banks, that he should not have been watching.) I remember the fights about shoes because he didn’t want to wear them during the summer (Yes, son even in Mississippi we have to wear shoes…) I remember that he was ready to go but his dad was talking. So in the photo that I dismissed and deleted, there are so many memories. This is why I hope you stop and take the photos with you in them. Yes, we can remember things without being in the photo but getting those candid photos helps me see us together, even if it’s only a glimpse in time.

So be like Nike, just take the photos. Be in the photos, candid photos, family photos, or any kind of photo. One day they may be all you have. One day they may be all someone else has of you.