the greenest grass around

I am so glad you decided to join us in moving from self-criticism to constructive self-reflection. Today we begin reevaluating our thinking, motives, and emotions to become the person we want to be. We hear so much about “Be the change”. Yes, be the change you want to see in the world. But most importantly, be the change God wants to see in you first, then the world. When we look at the world today, things are a mess. God tells us, “Do not conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is, his good, pleasing, and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

Look back at the four basic areas of life we will focus on first;

1. Physical

2. Mental

3. Emotional

4. Spiritual

In self-reflection, we allow ourselves time to process and really look into our motivations and actions. When we make time for true and honest self-reflection, we find our connection (or lack thereof) to God. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17.

Here are questions to consider with each area. This will take some time. If you need to stop and come back, do so.

Reflection Questions: (You will fill in the blank with the area above you are working on.) Be honest with yourself. No one else will see these. These reflection questions are to help you to better identify where you might need to make some adjustments.

1. What are my strengths in my _________ life.

2. What are my weaknesses in my ________ life.

3. What in ________ areas of my life have been life-renewing and life-draining?

4. What steps have I taken to improve my ___________ life?

5. How would things be different if I improved my __________ life?

Jot down your responses to those questions for each area. (Remember, these do not have to be specific. We are just writing down responses to reflect on. Do NOT compare yourself with others here. I know it is easy to say, “I want to be skinny like so and so.” But that is not healthy self-reflection. Realizing you need to be healthy and active for your body’s health is more constructive.)

I will share some examples from my life.

1. What are my strengths in my physical life? I recently went to the doctor for a checkup and it wasn’t all that bad. There is room for improvement but all in all, I was pleased.

2. What are the weaknesses in my mental life? Ever since my son’s accident, I have had a hard time processing. It might be a conversation that takes me longer to participate in or recall words when I need them. Writing things out is better than verbally speaking.

3. What emotional areas of life have been life-renewing and life-draining? Since the accident, it feels good to sometimes just let it all out. I feel anxious about it at first but most of the time it is needed. Dealing with other people’s emotions has been life-draining for me. I am having a hard enough time dealing with my emotions, let alone my family’s.

4. What steps have I taken to improve my physical life? My son and I have decided to eat healthier and not eat as much processed food.

5. How would things be different if you improved your Emotional life? I could spend more time being the parent my son needs, the wife my husband needs, the daughter my parents need, and the friend my friends need. But I have to heal first.

Now that you have spent time reflecting, let’s look at some steps to put into action.

1. List out your strengths and the things that are life-renewing.

2. List out your weaknesses then prioritize them. Keep them to less than three.

3. List out the things that are life-draining things. Realistically, what can you say “no” to?

4. Celebrate success: What have you already done to improve?

5. All together how do you want to see yourself a year from now collectively?

Now. Let’s talk about that the word “No”.

You can say it. It won’t hurt. You might think it will, but it won’t. Not saying “No” can be more detrimental than Saying “yes” to everything can be detrimental. A few well-placed “no’s” can shift your entire perspective. If there are things that are stressing you out and you can responsibly say “no”, do so it. Nevertheless, you cannot responsibly say “no” to taking your kids to school and waiting in the car rider line. Yet, there are areas in your life that you can slide off your plate. You can always pick them back up if you want to.

After my son’s accident. I tried to continue to do all of my extracurricular activities as before. Let me tell you now, it was not my best idea. I personally do not have trouble saying “no”, but I didn’t want to let anyone down. When I was finally at my wit’s end, I reached out and let the people know that I would be taking a step back. I felt terrible. Thankfully, each of them responded with kindness and understanding. And yes, it helped take some stress off my plate.

Back to the weaknesses you want to work on.

We will create SMART goals for each of them.

SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound.

Many of us fail at our goals because they are unrealistic and too vague. If all I say is that I want to be healthy. How do I know if I meet my goal?

Instead of this: Try this:

S	I want to save money this year.	I will put up 50 dollars each week into a savings account.
M	I want to be healthy and lose weight.	I will lower my BMI from 31 to 29 this year.
A	I want to go on a mission trip to Africa once a year.	I will plan to serve close to home once a month and save for a big mission trip next year.
R	I want to learn Spanish.	I will set aside 20 minutes a day to practice Spanish.
T	I will read and study my Bible.	I will read and study the Bible in one year. Follow a one-year Bible reading calendar

Creating these goals gives you a clear direction and a roadmap for success. Share your goals with an accountability partner to help you keep them up.

Remember, changing your perspective from self-critic to self-reflection takes time. Do not be too hard on yourself. When you realize you are being your own worst critic, gently shift your thinking. You are loved by God. He made you in his image. God does not make mistakes. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well.” Psalm 139: 13-14.

Lord, I pray that you would settle your peace among us. That you would allow those who are feeling low to remember we are made in your image. That you bought us at a price, a high price, and that each one of us is wonderfully made. I pray that you help us to self-reflect and draw closer to you. Help us to gauge our hearts and our motives. Help us to remember your great commandments; to love one another and to make disciples of all nations. Amen.