the greenest grass around

For a person who loves a good plan, my life for the past year has been the epitome of a train wreck.

Yes, my family has gone through a dark tragedy that we are still working through for some time. But it just seems that, literally, everything is a struggle these days. Why can’t something just be easy?

When we ask God for something or wait for an answer but it is not what we expect, or when we want it, it is so easy for us to become discontent or disappointed.

This is where disappointment is a place where the devil hangs out. I know in my heart that God is working, and he does have a plan for me. But in my mind, I am disappointed that things are not going my way. It is hard to remember that God did answer our prayer or is working on it, but he may have answered us in a way we are not looking for. Therefore, we don’t see the answered prayer because we are too busy pouting about our disappointments.

Proverbs 3: 5-6 states, ” Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not unto your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths

We desperately want to understand and control what is happening in our lives. That is human nature. There have been times in my life when I did not understand what was going on or why God was allowing something to happen. Looking back, I can NOW see God at work the entire time, and I can realize that God did have a plan. His plan was completely different from mine, but again, looking back, I would not change a thing.

I am an educator. At one point in my career, I was getting a degree in administration. That was not my plan but something God placed in my lap. I ended up having to move schools to have a mentor administrator. Let’s just say I was NOT happy about having to move schools. I manipulated, schemed, cried, begged, and did everything in my power not to go to this particular school. Nothing worked. Again, looking back, I learned so much from that situation, AND if I would not have been at that school at that time, I would never be where I am today. At that time in my life, I did not rely on God’s understanding or plan. I created a lot of additional stress and anxiety in my life because I refused to allow God control.

Going back to the present, with the loss of our son, it is easy to question God’s goodness. Why would he allow these things to happen? Why did he let Jordan die? Why are we struggling in every manner of speaking? Why can’t things just be easy for a few months? When God allows these things, our faith is truly tested.

How would you react? Would you question? I know I have and do it on a regular basis. I am torn between my heart and my mind. In my heart, I know that I should still praise God. But my mind says something totally different.

It is evident that many others struggle with this as well. The Bible is full of verses about praising God in the storm; Here are a few of my favorites.

1. “One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock.” Psalms 27: 4-5
2. “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” Isiah 43: 2
3. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
4. Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-4

Praise him in the storm.

I know it is easier said than done. But I choose to praise him even on the hard days.

We must understand that serving Him isn’t about getting everything we want or living the American dream. It is about picking up our cross, denying ourselves, and obeying Him daily.

These are the things I have had to come to terms with. What about you? Do you need to reflect on these things too? Knowing in your heart that God is for you is vital. I hope you will trust in Him even on the hard days when you are discontent, disappointed, and hurt. We will never understand His ways, but His word promises us so many things. He is working for us all the time, even when our world is so dark that we cannot see.